What is Parental Alienation?
Finder Law Serves Clients Across Jefferson City, Columbia, and Central Missouri
Parental alienation is the act of one parent to attempt to destroy a child’s relationship with the other parent. This is often accomplished by manipulation and gaslighting. At its worst, it can involve emotional and psychological abuse as well.
What are common signs of parental alienation?
- Anger from the child directed toward one parent
- Guilt experienced by the child when they spend time with the other parent
- Encouragement by one parent for the child to make decisions about custody
- Details being shared with the child regarding the divorce
Many issues can be behind a parent engaging in parental alienation. Competitiveness between spouses or a desire to “win” in the divorce are common. Divorces can be contentious, and people may take an approach where everything is fair game. However, this can cause serious, long-term damage to the child and will make any attempt at custodial agreements nearly impossible. Additionally, it can result in permanent damage of the parent-child relationship.
Parental alienation can also happen when the relationship between both parents becomes so unhealthy that the child feels alienated from both parents. This can create both long and short-term consequences for the child.

Short-term consequences
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Apathy
- Mood swings
- Anger and aggression

Long-term consequences
- Trust issues
- Anxiety and other mental health issues
- Unhealthy attachment styles
- Difficulty forming healthy relationships

The age of a child at the time of their parents’ divorce can determine what types of psychological impacts they will face. Younger children will often need to work with a mental health professional to process the feelings this creates in their formative years.
Sometimes parents don’t even realize they’re engaging in alienating behaviors. The spouses experiencing the divorce often feel anger, bitterness, and depression about the situation and can vent this on their children. Not all venting is bad, but depending on how it is done and what is said, it can damage the child. Children should never be used as “pawns” in a divorce or as a means to an end. Even if unintentional, parents should never put their children in the middle of divorce issues.
Divorces are hard on everyone involved. It is a painful process for the adults and the children, but parents must be careful not to create more stress and damage by the way they handle their own emotional stress. Both amicable and contentious divorces leave their mark on children, so it is important to seek counsel in an experienced, compassionate attorney that can guide you through this process.
If you believe you are a victim of parental alienation during a divorce or after, reach out to Daniel Finder at Finder Law. He knows how challenging this process can be, but he has the experience to walk you through this process effectively and compassionately. You’ll receive personalized legal advice from someone who will aggressively fight for you.
Call us today to schedule a consultation and get started on your case.
